starck.naked

2007-02-21T11:36:00.000+08:00

i'm bored and i'm moving back to livejournal.

2007-01-31T09:56:00.000+08:00

no, i'm not dead yet.
i've just been really bogged down
by studies, tuition & loads of other nonsense.
like people.

hah.
seriously.
people relations are such a headache.
knowing people for contacts.
talking to people cause
they are of good use.

and you know la
people.
c r a z y ones.

people get angry.
people get mad.
people get crazy.
people get sad.

that's why i like me.

i like my space.

enough nonsense.
chris come home.
jacinta, come home.
and don't go back already.

and one month to march.
can hardly wait!

and my livejournal's BACK

2007-01-16T18:17:00.000+08:00

Dear Lord,

could you just make clothes prices
for us, boys, a tad cheaper?
we are, afterall, boys.
don't need that many fanciful clothes
like those loathsome girls

who have their topshops, forever 21s & yes, this fashions.

i'm not asking for much.

and i don't require that much cloth.

please?

2007-01-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

everyone's moved on,
have you?

portraying an exterior
that shows you
couldn't care less.
like it doesn't matter.

dispensing words of happiness
and joy in abundance.

the facade that everyone
thinks is the real you.

i guess they never know.

why did you have to do that.

2007-01-14T22:09:00.000+08:00

i find myself
head in my hands.
regretting what i did.

now i feel stuck.

2007-01-09T09:26:00.000+08:00

my sick's almost gone.
right now. it's just the cough.
that's causing the throat.

and it's like
my whole head throbs
when i cough.

oh nevermind.
that's not important especially when
the L WORD SEASON 4 is OUT!!!
gimme my betty, shane and alice.
my dearest alice.

and school's commencing tml.

and tim's gone.
like really gone.
so must have pictures.

have fun in switz!
and come back soon
for more shopping fun!

funny how ray charles is playin' now

"let the good times rooooll.."
like hurh?

2007-01-04T23:12:00.000+08:00

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1272893444683177976

pls pls pls click on this link.

2007-01-04T22:49:00.000+08:00

bathing
and doing the

crazy beyonce deja vu dance!

jigggggggle

2007-01-04T15:23:00.000+08:00

trivia!

never knew froufrou's
from imogen heap?
or vice versa
whatever.

thing is.

i always thought
they sounded alike.

yay.
trivia.
i likin'.

2007-01-04T12:32:00.000+08:00

i woke up
and my first words were
"oh no..."
(try saying it in a
groaning moan.)

what have i done?!

and it wasn't even
about the incredulous
rash that savaged
my entire right arm.

right now,
it's still there.
and frigggggin' itchy!

i get stupid rashes for
tonne of stupid reasons.
seawater.
sand.
dust.
grease.
all kinds of dirt.
and alcohol.

thankfully,
NOT SEAFOOD.

nonetheless,
after 3 glasses of champagne
2 glasses of red
countless whites & vodka tonic
& some other crazy concotions later,
i'm still standing.
and yes,
i can walk in a straight line.

and no,
FYI,
suspenders are not for snapping.

but still i revert,
"oh no...
what have i done."

not isaac behaviour.

2006-12-28T22:59:00.000+08:00

For my dear friend
julius-truffles

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well well well,
it's the year end.
and promotions a plenty.
surely YOU wouldn't want
to miss out this delicious promo!

i personally have tasted
these delectable goodness.
i bought them for mother's day
and what a gift!
mom loved it.
everyone loved it.

p.s.
i ate everything the next day.
very sinful.
very delightful!

so what's the promo?!

Order any 1 set of Volcano Premium now
and send a photo of how you
or your friends
devour and mess up
the delightful treat
or strike a post with it.
You will be entitled to
1 FREE JULIUS TRUFFLE RUM SERIES!
consisting of 18 PIECES!
YUMMMMMMY!

i can't believe this.
can you?

do check out
http://www.juliustrufflesdiary.blogspot.com/
for more details!

and remember
to send in your photos!

and share the chocs with me!
slurp.

2006-12-26T14:53:00.000+08:00

All these things, should make me happy
Make me happy to be home again
All these things, should make me happy
Make me happy to be alone again.

nip/tuck's sucha great show.
only daph would understand.

the whole show strikes a chord with me
let's not even breach
the superficial theme of vainity.

hah.

but what the characters go through.
i feel so much like sean.
trying to please everyone.
that emotional loneliness.
wanting to get away from everything.
does bad things here and there,
just for the sake of doing it.
filling up that gap in his life.
not being accepted.
always on the fringes.

the list goes on really.

i love season 4's finale!
escobar gone for good.
james gone.
michelle gone.
and they're going to hollywood!
and the whole lip synching thing
to the submarines!
how very magnolia!

All these things, should make me happy
Make me happy to be home again
All these things, should make me happy
Make me happy to be alone again

sigh

2006-12-21T13:04:00.000+08:00

gah.
checked-out
with nowhere to go.

heading off to the
secret recipe nearby.

yawn.

i'm finally coming home.

*wipes sweat*

this is the first holiday
that i actually
can't wait to go home.

i need my bed.
need my friends.

and i think
i just saw alvin
crossing the road
in his shades.
didn't call him.
haven't contacted him
in ages.

can't wait for the
christmas celebrations
and all the parties to begin!

close pals.
nus pals.
church pals.

have to start writing
christmas notes!

coming home soon!

2006-12-17T20:25:00.000+08:00

have fun at powerhouse tonight,
ya all~!

2006-12-17T19:37:00.000+08:00

what am i doing here man.
i have no clue...
after a quick dinner,
said byes to my mum, aunt & uncle,
and wandered off alone.

in 30 freakin' minutes,
i covered the entire genting.

gag.
saw a bag from FOS
saw some peach polos.
saw this cross necklace thingy
from padini authentics.

but i've got good restraint.
i bought nothing.
they aren't very fancy anyway.
and internet's at RM10/hr.

crazy baboon.

anyhow,
i'm sick of this place.
and i have two more days to go
before i head to KL.

what to do, what to do.

i've finished SQ21.
and already halfway through
the bell jar
by sylvia plath.
i don't have any more books!
and i'm afraid to use up
the battery in my ipod.

maybe i should go swimming.
or the sauna.

and oh yes.
i wanted to go for a massage.
but it costs RM168/hr.

WHERE IS THAILANDDDDD!?

i've got crazy, weird people
playing maplestory
and i don't know what else
around me.

gesturing,
hooraying.

very scary, ya all.

i seek deliverance!

2006-12-17T00:43:00.000+08:00

from one cosmopolitan city
to another.
don't know go holiday for what.

haven't got down to christmas cards.
no presents bought.
really no christmas spirit
this year.
sigh.

but bought myself
a whole lot of stuff
to keep myself happy!

sorry those never receive
anything for christmas.
no timmmme.

and that's a valid excuse.

wish me fun
wish me come back relaxed
and ready to go through
another fiesty sem.

*clang clang clang*
READY GO!

au revoir!
till 22nd december.

2006-12-16T01:39:00.000+08:00

current reads:
paulo coelho's
like the flowing river
&
Ng Yi-Sheng's
SQ21

both inspirational.
both moving.

can't wait to finish 'em
over hot chocolate,
overlooking foggy skies
snuggled up in my sheets.

2006-12-16T01:02:00.000+08:00

grades are out.
pre-moderated.

and all i can say is...
PRAISE THE LORD!
i passed my math.

phew.

hopefully,
moderation is not
evil to me.

2006-12-15T10:41:00.000+08:00

i know how this is going to sound.
insane... and more insane.

i woke up early today.
cause i thought
i was going to be shot
by steven klein.

now,
laugh all you want.

2006-12-15T10:24:00.000+08:00

and i thought i knew
what i wanted.

not much time left.

2006-12-14T15:12:00.000+08:00

and once i stepped into the car
my left feet kicked into something
and left toe is now bleeding.

gah.

toldja it's a
series of most
unfortunate events.

maybe i'd be like the fella
in 4444
kena knocked down by car.

choy.

on the brighter side,
i have to thank God
cause i cut my nails
last night!
if i didn't,
i think consequences
would be much uglier.

anyhow,
5 millionth entry
in a day.

and the feeling's
no good.
no good at all.

p.s.
aeron,
get well soon.

2006-12-14T12:32:00.000+08:00

going out now.
and i should just take
a picture of myself now.

everything
i tell myself
i will never do.

i did!

hair
unstyled.

shorts
ugliest with camou print!

polo tee
oversized.

hahaha...
dress down yes.

2006-12-14T11:10:00.000+08:00

thursday:

and i thought i would be
packing my room.
getting ready my bag
for sunday's KL trip.

i woke up bright and early
to read the papers.

i swear i woke up
on the wrong side of the bed.

isaac never reads the papers.
but... but...
i wanted to read
especially after the conversation
i had with XJ
regarding the Chancellor's Shield.
he's right.
it's a good reason to read up.

but
that probably sparked
the downhill turn of events.

subsequently,
my dad came home.

alrigggggght.

some cold talk.

"let's have dimsum for lunch."

"what? why?!"
(and i swear this came out
with a mix of fear and disbelief)

"just eat lar"

and then i remembered
it's his 50th today.

darn.

let's not get him upset
on his birthday.

but on a sidenote.
he forgot for the umpteenth time
that i do not ever drink coffee.

2006-12-14T01:56:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qema4basqMY

an eeriely beautiful film

entitled '4444'

and of course, local.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Du4JkpR6iNg

rather poignant film.
several parts really
striked me hard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sgZH_0443o

and royston tan's cut.

full version's with me.

alright, i know i know.

very weird selection

of short films.

but all 3

striked a different chord

within me.

2006-12-14T00:26:00.000+08:00

listening to natalie cole right now
and can't help feeling
this christmas is indeed really lonely.

and coming semester.
i have a reason to be lonelier
when ja goes on her internship
till april.
(what about yours and my 22nd?!)
and chris heads to germany.
for good.

argh.
don't think about it.

damnnit.

2006-12-14T00:15:00.000+08:00

civil service payout for

bonus this year alot is it?

can take money and throw people huh.

think money solves everything right.

use money as a bribe right.

fine.

.
.

i'd take it.

2006-12-13T11:28:00.000+08:00

rant rant rant.

i want my macbook back.

right now!!!

and mac-boy

wages war on micro-softies.

gah.

2006-12-11T18:09:00.000+08:00

i really hate being 21.
was just watching something
on youtube.
and it came across to me
that the singer's a mere 19 yr old.

and then it struck me.

i used to be young,
lookin at singers and actors
who are older.

and now,
i'm the older one.
they're getting younger.

gah.

2006-12-11T15:00:00.000+08:00

the long awaited holidays are here.
but what am i doing.
besides messing around at home.
trying to download
more widgets and applications
on my mac.

talking about my mac.
i better call apple care now.
i need to settle the horrible
discolouration issue.

no more will people
ask me why i own a
yellow macbook
instead of a white one.

gah.

on a different note,
i went lancing lancing last night.

and what an impulse.

coz i had absolutely
no intentions at all.

and even though
i had to pay for entry
and the subsequent cabride back.

i had the most fun yet.

yay!

2006-12-08T23:32:00.000+08:00

the word
disappointment
never provoked
such a reaction from me.

exams are over.
was looking forward to it.
very much wanted to feel
the christmas spirit.
to bask in freedom
indulge in nothingness.

but it's not.

hollies & mistletoe.
gifts & merrymaking.

or a bucketful
of kleenex
wet with the tears
of forgotten?

the things i've done.
all reduced to...

2006-12-07T22:25:00.000+08:00

love that lives in the heart
cannot be so easily terminated by time
even though the encounter is brief
its impression shall last a lifetime
no one can change the direction of
love that lives in the heart
if you have loved
that in itself is the answer

thanks xj. =)

one of the most beautiful shows
i've watched.

2006-12-07T00:47:00.000+08:00

and
what would you do for money?

watched tanya's
wu di dong & mo shen ren
on youtube
earlier on in the day.
got a tiny bit emo.

d'oh.
that's like
a day in the life of isaac.

anyone can tell me
what happened in the mtv?
why the heartbreak
and the tears?

and then sang along to
yuan dian.

if you & your bestfriend
were to fall in love with the same person.
what would you do?

keep quiet
and let yourself be miserable?

i'm sorry.

2006-12-06T12:25:00.000+08:00

psst.

i smell clinique happy for men
behind me...

hmmm...

2006-12-06T11:57:00.000+08:00

yesterday was probably
the first time i felt
the christmas spirit.
it was as if exams were over.
and we simply went out to have fun.

so who's we?
that's the beautiful people
from my theatre practical group.
yes you!
ernnie, liz, lehia, koustav, darren & moi.

and where did we go?!
catch
jack and the beansprout,
of course!

i know everybody's keeling over
eagerly awaiting for one.
yes, one picture,
in this, used-to-be,
picture blog.
hah.

so here you go!

what to do when you have people
who love the camera so much?
pictures everywhere!

and one with my girl, liz.
in sakae.
p.s. she mentioned my outfit was chachak!
you judge!

and one more in sakae!
bad service man,
the bugis outlet.
gag.

and then....
we went to the national library!
to catch... hwat?!

JACK & THE BEANSPROUT!
*pweet*

and pretty lehia hates taking photos.
me, the camwhore,
can never understand.

here's one with mr. jonathon lim
the director!
and not hugo agogo pls!

and with seb tan and celine.

wah kao. wah lao. wah piang.
like that called love... meh?

girlpower!

and the irrepressible
ivan heng.
mama-mia!
super pai mia.
jugs damn big.

and then the harpy harp.
karen tan.
"touch meeeee..."

i really encourage everyone to go
catch this holiday pantomime
by wildrice.
they have never failed to
make every production a success.

and...
here's to the end of exams!
to having a great time in theatre!
to having made great pals!
and had great lecturers
and practical instructors!
*glee*

and here's to our upcoming
ichi, ni, san!
NEO-PRINT EXTRAVANGANZA!
*yay yay yay!*

anyhow,
back to muggerland.
in the library.
talk about christmas spirit.

wah kao!

2006-12-04T08:09:00.000+08:00

argh.
i'm being such a pig.
i just woke up from a 7.5h sleep.
and yesterday afternoon,
i slept it all away.
and i have a paper today.

gah.
isaac...
you're much more studious
than that.

i really don't know how
to study for the paper later.
seriously,
if you ask me what i have learnt,
i'd be like.
"urm,
homosexuality & pop music
magic and stereotypes."

and being honest won't
get you the grades.
you need to give politically-correct answers.
pui.

i think i can imagine the
rest of my december.
christmas cards. hah!

i need a massage,
someone.

"Through the years
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now."

i say,
"PUI!"

2006-12-03T19:57:00.000+08:00

exams are coming to an end.
just 2 more.
south east asian crap.
and theatre history.
we're going way back.

christmas is coming
december is here.
and "have yourself a merry christmas"
is playing.
and man,
that's an awfully depressing song.

it sounds so empty,
exactly how i'm feeling right now.

every christmas time,
i feel so excited.
big plans for dinners.
having friends over.
setting up of the tree.
listing out presents.
and designing the cards.

this year,
it's just emptiness i have.
i suppose it's the exams that are
eating into december.
how depressing.

and i'm cash-strapped.
gah.
haven't been giving tuition
for like 3 weeks?
have to watch expenditure.

haven't buy card materials.
dad's present.
more presents for friends.
birthday and christmas.
food money.
the turkey. the cake.

argh.

i don't even feel slightly christmasy.
my parents intend to take me somewhere.
and i told them not to.

uber-gahness.

it's like the whole time.
i've just been studying and schooling.
and when it's over.
you just don't know what to do.

in army, there was purpose.
you just work work work.
weekends, you play.

with school,
you study study study.
eat eat eat.
play play play.

come holidays, you end up
with nothing to do.

should i take up a job?
but for a month?!

oh man.

i can't go out.
coz i'm cashless.

and i still want that porter bag.
january wil be a good month.

i'm stopping chinese tuition.
pointless for my kid.
painful for me.

january is a time for resolutions.
and so many things
swimming in my head.
so many things i want to settle.
my room!
my accounts!
my studies!
my modules!
(no more stupid math mods)

i think it's time for
detox.

2006-11-29T23:05:00.000+08:00

i feel like
i'm hurled across the room.

the only one time
i've let my guard down.

2006-11-20T17:33:00.000+08:00

dying a slow death.

2006-11-20T08:40:00.000+08:00

haven't been feeling well
these few days.
a cold. a cough. a fever.

it had to be wednesday night.
that all nighter
attempting to pack
french passe composes
and adjectives into my
lil brain.

doesn't help
that my family's on holiday
till coming thursday.
and i must get sick,
just when they're gone.
bummer.

it's monday now.
4 more days to go.
i'm feeling much better now
compared to leaking saturday.

typing furiously on my mac
with my mucus-stained hands.
(i'm a guy!
do you think
i'd carry tissue paper
around with me?)

fate deals you such a cruel hand
all the time, huh.

it's always such bad timing.
and horrible situations.?

i'm glad you did
whatever you did.
i'm hell of a upset.
but it certainly
makes recovery faster.
just don't say one thing
and do another.
don't lie to me.

now,
you have me a sceptic.

and that really sucks.

and on another another note.
my portfolio's on the way!

can't wait for wednesday
to be over.

and for you to come home.

2006-11-16T08:21:00.000+08:00

i really don't know what to call you.
would hypocrite suffice?

you obviously say things
to point a finger at me.
and say that i did wrong.
or have wronged you.

you tell me one thing.
(now isn't that almost everyone?)
and do another?

what's the purpose
of telling me i don't spend enough
time with you?
so that i'd feel guilty?

c'mon.
i don't.
but boy,
i've had enough of you.
really, enough.

you chose.

2006-11-15T23:02:00.000+08:00

deception is good.
reality, kinda suck.

2006-11-15T22:13:00.000+08:00

my heartiest heartiest
congratulations to jules
for being blissfully attached.

here's to you.
a toast.
to your impending marriage.
heh.

can i be your pianist pls?

and jo!
no more scary phonecalls
in the middle of the day
requesting for me and charme
to sing at your wedding.
VERY SCARY.

2006-11-15T16:37:00.000+08:00

the truth hurts.
that's the awful reality isn't it,

you want the truth
be told to you.
and when it is.
you can barely handle it.

you know it's true.
you know there's
no reason for bluff.
and yet,
you seek confirmation.
and when truth be told.
you still am caught off guard.

and then it hurts.

look over your shoulder.
make sure you
didn't leave anything behind.

2006-11-15T08:52:00.000+08:00

i had a realisation, just.
i actually watch chinese flicks.
with english subtitles.

for those who went thru the army.
and for those girls who haven't been.
a must watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qGAU7VTExg

and for those guys who wished
they never went to the army.
this one suits y'all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTqLqAisl3c

and for those who like
to tak giu. (kick ball)
die hard soccer
watchers/ betters/ players...
some soccer propaganda.
are you that soccer-siao?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=la5itOOjLtE

*i'm sorry i'm unable to host
the videos here.
for aesthetics eh.*

what am i doing!
i'm supposed to be studying
for my french orale!

back to the books.

2006-11-14T19:39:00.000+08:00

oooohh...kena used.
painful.

2006-11-13T12:33:00.000+08:00

what have you done?oh my.
what have you done?

2006-11-11T23:16:00.000+08:00

this morning was just scary.
it's something that keeps
replaying in my head.
over and over again.

and then they well up.

today had been
a long theatre day.

being a director.
is frustrating.
is difficult a position.
when you're directing friends.
you don't want to push them.
and then you get angry.

sometimes i think
people argue for the sake of it.

seriously, you're just defending
for the sake of defending.
just think about it.
don't just mouth off, immediately.

but i'm glad
everything turned out good.

thanks to lehia
the set is great.
and you worked the lightings!
kudos to you.

thanks to kenneth.
you really helped me loads
with "line"ing the actors.
and your handworking nature
-your portfolio!-
is really something. =)

thanks to ern.
being accomodating.
and such a wonderful actress.

thanks to k.
for memorising your lines.
and being the lil diva.

thanks to liz.
who actually internalises
what i say.
and if i'm wrong,
would tell me.

thanks to d.
for being there.
and not running away at 6.30.

so many things i need to do.

and one of them's to
make excuses for myself,
like every other day.

2006-11-11T05:03:00.000+08:00

i woke up.with a muffled shout.
the words couldn't come out.

tears runing down my cheeks
as i thought about what
caused me to wake up.

we were sitting on
the parapet talking.
trying to be brave.
like our brother.

you tried to stand up.
"it was okay"
and then you fell.

and it was the whimpers.
not the screams
that gripped me.

"mommy, daddy"
a plead.
a disbelief.
a silent cry.

a thud.

"mommy, daddy"
i tried to echo
in a shout.
but the words were stuck
in my throat.

and when i could.
all i could muster
was a muffled shout.

i really do love you.
cause why are the tears
still flowing?

2006-11-11T00:39:00.000+08:00

everytime i decide on something.
something else has to come along.
throw me off.
and smirk in my face.

"see what i told you."

everything's working against.
i'm sorry.
maybe i just can't.

2006-11-10T19:07:00.000+08:00

yesterday night was truly
a great ending to such a horrible day.
less horrible than wednesday.
but still horrible.

having lessons at 8.
waking up at 7.15.
dad having to chase after me.
and i needed to choose
the clothes for the function.
and i completed them all
in 15, holy macaroni, minutes.
and still packing my bag!

alright.
and i thought i would early for class.
there had to be a jam.
damnnit.
but the poor crasher lady
was crying so badly.
wonder what happened
the the crashee bikee.

another excuse for me
not to pick up driving.
traumatic.

then again,
i told myself & u
that i would pick up
lessons on december.

anyhow,
media, theatre, french.
enough to kill me.
and then mulling over books
looking for director's stuff.
and then trying to
get started on the sea script.
i emphasise again.
try.

talking about sea.

i rather not talk about it.

somehow,
i feel people question
my directorial decisions.
like everytime i say something.
someone else would have
something to say.
every decision i make.
it must be changed.

and no.

i want to put my feet down.
pin your head under.
bend down at you.
and scream.
i'm the boss.

haha. as if.
but i don't like people
second-guessing me.
my entire life.

i went for math lecture
yesterday.
my as well don't go.
then flew over to shayne's.
got my hair fixed.
and off to
ORD FUNCTION!

so many people i wanted
to catch up with.
but didn't get the chance to.
but some old pals.
very fond memories.

and lewis.
that lewd lewd fella.
i swear i couldn't look str8
into his eyes.
they were looking at you.
but also looking through you.
drunk.

and then u.
u made my day.

i really do.
but should you wait?

2006-11-09T01:34:00.000+08:00

wednesdays are terrible.how dreadfully long!

i didn't even have time for food.
let's see what i ate.
a small bar of choc
during french.
biscuits during tuition.
and a nicely-intentioned sandwich
prepared by my kid.
but i taboleh tahan the mayo.
no mercy!

i took about an hour to finish it.
and then i was offered this
diabetically sweet drink.
i choked on it.
it was that sweet.

and now, at 1.30am.
i'm thinking of what to wear
for tonight's ord function.
smart casual.
and i can't figure out,
whether i should go in
white. purple. khaki.
green. black. yellow.

i'd figure it out in the morning.

and during tuition,
i scribbled down the traits
i seek for my other half
on my moleskin.

but i'm not putting it here!

(let's just say,
one of it requires cooking pasta!)

haha!

2006-11-08T00:05:00.000+08:00

entirely stupid of me
to think that you owe me answers.

i'm not entitled to them,
anyhow.

exams in two weeks.
so many things to cover.
and sleep seems to be in lack.
i need to pull through.

this sem better be over quick.

i don't need the drama.
i don't need the people.

and i've decided what to do
for next sem.
and it, for sure, doesn't include
you, you and you.

so thank you.
bugger off.

what do you make of
a canteen with tables for one.
throughout.

neat.

my kind of world.

and must stop on metrosexual comments.
i don't know whether to feel honoured.
'coz somehow, metrosexual is
just a euphemism for "fag".
and that's degrading
to say the very least.

white shorts. tshirt. and haviannas.
and i look like a metrosexual.

do i need to wear
army black specs
nike tshirt
board shorts
and a crumpler bag
to fulfil your ideal student look?

that's a freak show.

2006-11-06T13:02:00.000+08:00

does not tellingequate to
dishonesty?

i don't know.
maybe you tell me.

2006-10-27T11:40:00.000+08:00

i ask for it.all the time.

2006-10-26T09:02:00.000+08:00

i was just writing a poem(yeah. skip theatre.
favourite lecture.
supposed to study french.
but write poem.)
and i linked it with theatre!
so don't worry.
not in theatre.
but thinking about theatre.

the idea of writing for someone.
readers' competence.
sometimes it's easy to read as it is.
but you wouldn't know it exactly.
unless you have prior knowledge.

and that's why i don't let
my stuff come to light.

i don't even want to call them writings.
who knows what people will say.
or smirk. or laugh.

poetry,
concise but packed full
of meanings.

and then...
it's such a stress-ball, isn't it.

you just want to go on and on.
and de-tense de-tense.

et...
vous, menteurs.
get out of my life.

2006-10-26T08:12:00.000+08:00

holy macaroni.today seems to be my
unfortunately lucky day.

well, is that good or bad.

i feel so judged!
how?

like how a person you have knowned
for such a long time.
tells you he's neutral.
but the tone and eth else
condemns/belittles you.
obviously taking sides.
and then can say
this and that.
but then does
this and (exactly!) that.

hmm... what do you call them?

and and it's not just him
it really feels like everyone else
is doing the same.

i wonder what's your magic.

on a much LIGHTER note...

pals,
this saturday, 28th,
be at timbre (old substation),
6pm till late.

me and marhilee
are hawking our wares.
*cheap-cheap*

and if you think
we don't have enough nice stuff.
eat-this.
*ka-bam!*
there's other flea stalls
to check out too lar.

i will mark attendance.

2006-10-26T06:45:00.000+08:00

gah! 7am! i'm supposed to wake up
at 5 heaures
to do some last minute
cramming for math.

*knock knock*

"all of you come down now."

trudged down the stairs...
plonked myself comfortably
on the black tattered sofa.

"what time is it?!
how come morning nobody
bring the men for breakfast?
and what time is it?!
how come never come for
morning pt?!
you, as commanders,
must set an example for your men!"

erm...
wakeeeeee up.
just a whacked out dream.
wilson is no more!

maybe this is in preparation
for the upcoming
ord function!

fanfare! explosions!
festivity!
congratulation guys!
well-deserved!

okay lar.
some of you can rot there
for eternity.

FRENCH TEST!!!
gag.

2006-10-25T06:39:00.000+08:00

"your cap looks like perry's."
like, what?

i don't look like no one.

gah.

2006-10-24T14:41:00.000+08:00

i seem to be talking alot to myself nowadays.
and sure...
i wonder why...
huh.

this morning alone,
i was just looking up at the ceiling.
and wondering.
conversing with myself whether
i should get out of bed.
what the day would entail
what i would be doing
what i would be mulling over.

it's just too much how life deals with you.
one bad card after the other.
one can only wonder,
when this series of terribles would end.
and when old stories would be closed for good.

damn.

i'm so done with
school.
people.

what do you live for?

2006-10-23T23:27:00.000+08:00

i swear my life is plagued.
nothing is funny.
not at all.

and justin kirk looks like ian somerhalder.
yes. yes. yes.

2006-10-23T20:47:00.000+08:00

and you...
are you made of wood?

i can't believe you can say
something so selfish
and insensitive.

theatre project is something
of both of us hold important.

but the things you said today
make me realise the
kind of person you are.
the kind of person the world abhors.

what are projects?
group effort.
i can't stress more.

so what if the evaluation
is based on individual presentations?

you don't help your group members?

then hwy don't you form a group
by yourself?
cause i believe that will
work out damn well!

you say people don't justify you?
how about you take on a girl role?
i'd justify you.
and you never breathed a word
during meeting.
how to expect me to read your mind.

and you dare to say you don't
want to give your input.
hah.
how can anybody be this selfish?!

and i'm director!
is this a one man show?
do you want me to tell you
what to do?
because i need to fulfil my role?
and you could say
"i don't know why you want
to be director also"
and insinuate that i asked for it
because it's something i want to do.

kudos to you, my friend.

i'm so disappointed.
so very disappointed.

2006-10-23T10:14:00.000+08:00

i'm so fuming mad right now
i'm typing at the incredulous speed
of 5 million words per min.

and boy,
i'm so attempted to fill this post
with all kinds of expletives imagineable.
but must backspace and delete them all.

to think that the weekend was
one of the best times i had in ages.

sat was shopping. d'oh.
and yesterday,
i was at maad and homespun.
as many would know,
two of my favourite places in spore.

and boy.
kous is here.

*roll eyes first*
how to study now?

had a good talk with
shannon and catherine
(yes, still insisting i do something
with my *huh?* talents.)
and i just wish i had
half their passion.
i mean, okay,
that one not too difficult for me.
but well,
i just want to do what they do.
"round up the arts scene."

combine forces.

and free pgs candies!

talking about pgs,
i'm one of the sole few in
singapore with that ah-pek bag.

and ah-pek.
people.
please.
stop saying i got ah-pek dressing.
i'm proud of my ah-pek stuff.
yes, i pay for them.

and damn.
i didn't get to skin my macbook
yesterday.
of all days, he had to go
for reservist.
@#^#$%&$%^&

but i'd be back next week
to skin it for real.

arrrgh.
imagine having to lug that
crazy huge laptop of mine to
church.
tuition.
then maad.

and laptops.
catherine is looking at some
laptop covers
and i can't wait.
seriously,
i'm a sucker for stuff
innovative. fun.
l-o-c-a-l

and nice prego dinner yesterday night
with nice people.
haven't had nice dinner for
nong nong time.
with nice conversation.

and i can't take
peninsular (chocho) plaza.

okay. i digress.

i'm f***ing fuming right now
coz someone
had the audacity
to lie to my face.

right in my face.

whoa.
i swear,
that person got some nerves.
OFF MY BOOK.

you
ding-dong
rectum-connect-dickhead
head so thick
brain size of a chickpea
teeth, braces also cannot save.
bugs bunny also have to
give way to you.

somebody save you.

cause seriously,
no one can.

you're in your own shite
and you can't smell it.

hur.

2006-10-21T22:07:00.000+08:00

early in the morning,
i got dressed and ready for tuition
and a whole day of studying
in the school library.

laptop. charger.
readings, notes and sweater.
all geared up for
the studious day ahead.

but guess what.
the library's not open.

tired and hungry.
tim called and suggested shopping.

it was meant to be.
i was not to study today.

and so, it became shopping
not study.

but i'm not estactic right now.
i hate my projectshop t shirt.
why on earth did i buy it.
just cause it was right in my face
while i was at the cafe?

and talking about that,
of all people i had to see in town today.
i had to see you.
really damn suay.
and i guess you saw me.
and i know what you're probably thinking.
hah.
big.fat.deal

so i bought 3 tops at haji lane.
very exciting the pluck.
right, tim.
i need to go back again.
buy all the 7 deadly sins.
and, you.
my virtue.

gag.

and who knew peninsular plaza
had great shops!
limited edition, great vintage shops.
onitsukas, and many more!
bet you didn't know!

got a jacket and a cap.
very yummy.

bought haviannas.

bought books from kino.

and that top from projectshop.

i bet it's you who caused me to get it.
bugger.
blame you.
should never have seen you.
now bad mood.

but great time shopping.
retail not exactly therapy today.
but who cares.
just that now i have to pull up
my socks, 2xist briefs
and start mugging.

math and french coming right up!

damnnit.

2006-10-13T14:17:00.000+08:00

it's scary the number of shows
i'm catching every week.

ugly betty
heroes
brothers and sisters
america's next top model
project runway
lost
desperate housewives
nip tuck

each episode being an hour long
i spend 8 hours just watching them

it's a good/bad thing that
project runway is ending it's season.
easily best season yet.
and they're designing for spring!

so that'll be 7 hours a week.
still.

i could do alot of readings and work
with 7 hours on my hands.

it didn't rain!!!

now i'm upset.
and that word is banned!
i thought i'm alright already.
just don't mention it!!!
yes, IT IT IT!
as chris puts it,
an insecure USER.

2006-10-13T13:58:00.000+08:00

blardy hell
all week don't want to rain
but pian pian
today must feel like raining.

and it must begin
to feel like raining
just when i step into school.

why like that.

and i don't know how to
gain entrance into
the study room at yih.
should i scan my card?
tap my card?
insert my card?

oh man.
it better rain.
it have better rain
or else i'd be damn pissed.

better start on report now.

scoots.

2006-10-11T23:21:00.000+08:00

life's kinda swell right now.

i've never felt so alone in school.
the only time i had people around me
besides in class,
had to be a 30 min lunch with j.wei

i can do alone pretty well.
i roam around singapore alone
most of the time.
so this doesn't faze me.

just slightly incredulous.

i was dragging my heart
along the corridors
and the many stairways
of school.

and heartbreak,
boy, it wasn't even metaphorical.
i could feel pain.

and why was this

i tried blaming it on my
overactive imagination
channeling olivia j maybe.

but, no it wasn't.

i was trying to ascertain
what was going on.
in my life
in general.

somethings are ridiculous.

i feel so used?

and you're hypocritical.

and you're selfish.

and you're just full of yourself.

ordinarily,
i wouldn't give a donkey-kong
about friendships.

but you matter.

maybe, it's karma.
but you know what.
bring in on.

don't don't don't
say you want to do well in school
and that it's not that hard to comprehend.

you never speak to me like that.
not ever.
and that's why it suck.
i never got this from you.

2006-10-09T17:44:00.000+08:00

"my stupid mouth
has got me in trouble
I said too much again!"
John Mayer

on a much cheerier note,
bolognaise was a success!
Yes! Isaac cooked!

Chris is coming back!

And I bought a recipe book
for pastas!

And i'm skinning
my mac book this weekend.
I hate the trackpad/wristpad area!

And MARY is looking so fly
with her new hair!
j'adore beaucoup!
people, be nice.
it takes a little getting used to
and she will work it!

And i love Fiz
who helps me always always
with French homework.
even at outrageous 1am in the morn!

And I don't know how to deal
with the problem at hand.
I wish Jata was with me all the time
I wouldn't screw up my life like this.

And we danced salsa in theatrea pracs today.
and I was JEALOUS!
I want to be Elvin!
hur hur hur...

Tuition now.
growl.

2006-10-06T19:01:00.000+08:00

"I'm a HUNKY DOODLE!"

why? don't believe me?
i just swam 50 laps in school aight.
that's proof enough.

and i still can study inside the library.
not bad huh.

oh yes.
this entry is persuaded by MARY.
she's sitting like the other end of the library,
on level 6, d'oh.
but we're so connected by the internet!
distance is brought so much closer
by internet. what a fantasic innovation.

and chrissy-poo is now in cambodia.
damn it.
i wanted to go this june
but didn't work out
and she just suddenly say,
ok.
drop what she's doing
and head to cambodia.
argh!!!!

but yes, me and keith have decided,
the coming june/july,
we will most deifinitely go!

and i'm going to skin my ipod!
should i, should i?!

i saw nice nice one
and i think i can get
that guy to do for me.
then can look nice nice
together with my nano.

and talking about nano,
drmills chose my presentation!!!
about my problems and suggestions
to the nano!!!
it's super fly.
but guess what.
i forgot to put my name on it!
okay lar,
you're probably thinking,
wa lao, so hard up for recognition.
but it IS like that one.

it's a university student thingy.
if ur lecturer knows you,
for your positives,
you're guaranteeed good.

all uni kiddos say aye!

and just now,
"naz" was sitting beside me in the library!
library so big. 6 floors.
5 trillion seats.
but choose to seat beside me.
dunnoe is heng or suay.
and i was just telling the real naz yesterday.
what coincidence right.

and i'm studying ill 9 tonight.
and since that's 2 hours to go,
i better hit the books, isaac!

i got 67/80 for french mids.
ahem.

au revoir!

2006-10-02T12:09:00.000+08:00

i'm finally a sixer!
gone are the days
of see-sawing 53s to 57s!
and hello to 60!

yes,
I've met Bakwa.

and boy,
60 sure feels heavy.

looking at myself
in the mirror,
i see a 2 months preggers.
and, that doesnt feel good.

mais mais mais! (but!)
i can stop lying
'bout my weight!
Y-E-S!

yayness

2006-10-01T00:23:00.000+08:00

go get laid
get herpes
and sores.
go baby go go

i'm getting so short on fuse
so don't say anything out of line

i really don't care if the world
thinks nothing of me
cause life is too short
to get bothered with
things so stupid.
i live for myself.

2006-09-25T10:15:00.000+08:00

:: 3 strikes ::

went to church early in the morning
for choir practice.
and this is unusual,
but i played pretty well.
and that's for someone who doesn't practise
and the performance is in a month.
gulps.
after choir,
on the way downstairs to start my lesson.
i hit my wrist against the wall
and my indian bangle is no more.
ARRRRRRRRGH!
strike one
of my bad day.

had good fun at reddot.
walked about.
talked around.
met a few friends.
saw my primary school friend.
bought a vest
don't know for what.
and promised peeps i would go for the party.
which very sadly, i couldn't and didn't.
explanations the next time i return.

then stupid isaac
decides to say a line.
but chooses not want to stop there.
say somemore stupid things.
before long,
it becomes a convulated mess
and doesn't know how to
find his way out of his own bullshit.

but would my intentions be bad?!

strike two and nearly out.

dancing.
relatively good music.
too many people.
and you thought mambo was crazy
*hah!*
saw too many things.
people getting too much action.
and you thought that person who
couldn't get more decent,
decides to get downright diiiiirty.
pretty much kept to myself.
isaac never gets action.
damn.
and then saw v.
screamed.
and then somemore.
i didn't get to say hi.
arrrrrrrrrrgh.

strike three.
you're dead.

outtttttttt!

i told myself never to forgive
that piece of arse.
but of course,
some miracle had to happen
and i forgave him as fast
as the vege stall uncle shaked his booty.
ahem.
but you naughty naughty boy.
in big big trouble.
cannot save your skin already.
but very much loved.

2006-09-22T14:33:00.000+08:00

just woke up from
my midday nap
in cold sweat.

i drove to ang mo kio.

okay. no big deal.
but people who know me,
know that i hate driving.
and never want to learn driving.
that's why the dream
was so scary.
it was so surreal.

i remember the route i took.
the traffic was bad.
midway, i took off my seat belt.
coz i couldn't see the vehicles
in front of me.
i was craning forward.
i stepped on the wrong peddles.
i swerved wildly
because my vision was blurred.
you know how when you stare
at the tv for a long time,
you get blurry vision?
same thing.

my elder brother was in the car.
sleeping beside me.
oblivious to my bad driving.
i was in tears and sweat.
i called him and
he woudn't wake up.
groaning, shivering
and sweating
and crying in my seat.

gosh. i don't want to relive that,
e v e r.

and i was still late for tuition.
yes, the reason why i ever would go
to AMK is for tuition.

i can still remember what i wore.
argh.
freaky.

and you never called, texted to tell me
we're not meeting today.
that's #$%^ing spoilt my day.

why am i still at home?!
waiting for your call and text?!
argh. i shall go out now.

2006-09-22T13:13:00.000+08:00

looking back at
the past half of a sem
i'm asking myself
what the hell are you doing.
i haven't been the student
that i wish i was.
neither am i the person
i wish i could be.

midterm break, i need
to catch up on school.
set my life straight back
and hopefully
do way better for the yr-ends.

i will alienate myself
from this whole she-bang.

'cause i'm just playing
it all up in my head.

2006-09-21T20:55:00.000+08:00

i'm at tuition now and blogging away.
and why?
'coz my tuition kid, yes, that korean un,
couldn't find his chinese spelling book.
(i swear he hid it away)
and then when i still tested him.
(he had the cheek to tell me he
never heard of those words)
he failed miserably.

and so now,
he's taking 15 minutes to memorise
words like lao shi, jie jie, zao an.

i don't know why i'm teaching chinese.
last week i taught him numbers in chinese
and i spelt 4 as SHI when it's like SI.
he had to point it out to me.
blah.

mid term break is here for me.
*wipes my sweat*
i need to start doing all my readings and notes.
try to see whether i can handle math
or have to s/u it.

oh yah.
i failed theatre quiz today,
very miserably.
and it's quite blah 'coz my and kous studied our arses off
and know pretty much everything by heart.

drK: alright, who scored less than 40. you ought to be slapped.

(me on one end of the room starts gesturing wildly to kous my results)

drK: what? Isaac? you scored 5 points?

isaac: no, i got 32.5.

drK: well, that's not too bad.

*scratches head 'coz should i slap myself
or pat myself on the back*

what a stupid dum dum i am.

and YES! i managed to tell WL that she cannot
join my group for drama practicals.
she handled it well.
so did i!
and yes, we have pretty much the perfect group already.

and what a day today.
WL spilt apple juice all over the LT, beside me.
sure kena right.
then cannot write french numbers, in thousands.
when numbers were my best!
step on my laptop.
then canteen,
unappreciated.
roared at.
and then kous spilt TEH on my laptop.
great.
failed theatre quiz.
and then waited 3 hours for math lecture.
just to sleep in it
and leave early.
and had to see that piece of wood on the bus.

BUT I SAW MY RESIDENT CUTE PERSON.
numero un a nus.

and then i saw my first three months geog tutor.
he looks so different!
kinda like a hippie.
bunched up hair.
thailand beer chang tshirt.
rugged pants.
slippers.
WHITE TOE NAIL POLISH.
abit the weird.
but these are the kind of people that makes
arts so fun.

and talked to daph so much today.
and we resolute to say hi to to TOUT of all tutorial mates.
that includes pretty girl from sea tutorial.
we assume she's a swimmer
coz she was in ARENA attire.
and then we have ALEX from theatre.
and EVERYONE i know from tutorials!
must be mr congeneality
since out of the 5 million pagaents in nus
i wasn't involved in any.
wa lao. what are the chances
that one (me) can be so ugly.
ugly enough not to be in pagaent!
look at the latest bash.
erm, the contestants all so dubious.
the winner is no fight one.
but he's my friend.
so YAY to him.

yes, i'm SOUR.
hur hur hur...

okay, i'm still at tuition
and i'm typing so much.
i feel so wrong.
zhen de hen bu hao.
a bientot!

2006-09-19T23:34:00.000+08:00

"it's just too little too latee..."

school has been terrorising!
had my first (premiere) french test today.
and i was totally stumped during
the listening comprehension.

"okay isaac,
listen out for how many
children the speaker has"

twice over,
and i still haven't got it down.

but it's alright.
it's only the mid-terms.
(now, that's me being disgustingly hopeful)

and next week's mid-term break!
we're talking shopping!
and then have work
and projects
and argh.

and i don't know what to do with you.
not.at.all

2006-09-17T00:36:00.000+08:00

just came back from the next wave with hideous sore eyes.
and the left one's pus.
not a sight, definitely.

wait. why the pus?
it's not cause i got hot and bothered looking at the taut bodies
my optician warned me in the afternoon that i shouldn't
be wearing my contacts all the time.
which really means everyday.
it really impaired me just now during the concert
and it didn't help that i was sitting in the 3rd circle.
darn.

oh. and this entry is for mary
who lodged a forma complaint against me
for not updating this journal
and having to put her thru "math"
everytime she comes to this page.

next wave was really good.
well, i think the chinese ballet thing
was fantastic.
the colours and the lights.
the play of geometric shapes
the use of space
the aesthetic element is definitely not lacking
and i was sitting there thinking
"wow, this guy really thought about
every.single.detail."
and being me, i loved the first item.
very stop the commotion
and loved the item using the l word soundtrack
although very literal with "whether you fall".

my life kinda sucks arse right now
with 2 mid term papers next week.
and i have all of tomorrow to study for them.
please assess my screwed level.

and it doesn't help that

you will never.
and i cannot.

2006-08-17T18:21:00.000+08:00

o! how i hate math!

i could go into an entire discourse on why i do.
but i think i shouldn't.
since i very much asked for it basically.

everyone's reaction to my choice of gem
have been thoroughly encouraging.
yes, the baulk.
go ahead. open that mouth wide.

what are we doing?
einstein
mr nobel prize gao
theory of rela-what-tivity
logarithms (so d'oh easy)
banks also known as river banks.

i need to puke
yes, puke all over
mr pythargoras' (sorry sir) theorem.

"how many people foreigners?"
and more than half the class puts up their hands
and the people around me start babbling
in their prc chinese.
xie xie ni.

"how many people other faculty?"
a 5-6 hands?
and engineering please.

"appreciate the beauty there"
groans.

2006-08-16T08:14:00.000+08:00

i know i haven't written anything in a week.
but that doesn't mean i'm dead.
alot of things have been going on.
and school's a big part of it.
and come to think of it.
having left my job,
of coz i wouldn't write that much.

but nevermind.

come 26 August,
head down to Timbre,
just behind Substation,
and look for me!
cause i'd be hawking my wares!
we're talking ck tshirts to levis jeans.
hardly used bags to equally hardly worn shoes.
and only guys stuff i'm selling,
but doesn't mean the girls don't get a thing.
they get ME!... right.
no lar. everyone gets free live music!
seriously... with 3 local bands performing.
definitely one great night out.
SEE YA THERE!

oh oh....
and ma mary berry can attest that
Timbre is one hell of a
great place to chill out.
what say you? 170 pictures?!
=)

2006-08-07T09:00:00.000+08:00

my baby's coming back today!
hip hip hurray!

2006-08-07T00:48:00.000+08:00

the opportunity to stay up
and not having to worry about whether i will be
able to wake up at 0630 hrs tomorrow is
amazing.

having put a stop to tuas.
my uncle insists i go back to help.
i'm glad to say,
i can wake up whatever time i like.
hurray!

today was another crazy maad day.
and i actually told myself over and over again
that i'm going over to fabrix and sundays
for the laptop bags and tote bags

instead i took a lil walk
talked to a few of the artists.
said hi to familiar faces.
i myself have become a familiar face, i swear.
and i sure swear by that place.

i like the feel of red dot.
no hagglers
but people who just want to share their art
and designs with
the public and those who appreciate.

although i'm not too sure about everyone.
bleargh.
don't like that nong nong name place
that i got berms from.
(tt's how obvious. chides myself.)
but i like their vests. ahem.

i don't want to go into why i don't like them.
blah.
seems a lil immature.
but seriously, *rolls eyes*
not friendly lar. must smile please.
and... 36 cents?!
didn't i just say i would not go into it?!

ya. so i got berms.
what else.
i bought stuff from christy of all things nonsense.
haha.
i'm sold when people wax lyrical over their stuff
and you can see passion practically oozing out
from their every single pore.
so yes.
i bought a charm/chain and a necklace thingy.
hahaha.
support local mah!
and boy, christy has something up her sleeves.
and i'm stoked for her!
i can barely contain knowing that hawt piece of news.
it's juicy and i'm all "you go girl" for her.
it's the most fantastic thing anyone can hope for.
practically drop into your lap.
congratulations!

and yes, i'm going back to MAAD next week.
promise and promise.

and i cleaned out my wardrobe and accessories section earlier.
and boy. it's one heeeeuge bag of clothes and accessories.
i'm talking bags. belts. jeans. berms. chokers. tshirts. shirts. shoes.
i cleared away all the girls stuff.
all selling my stuff only.
it's a pity cause i have this 80s polkadot skirt, my mom's.
and it's beautiful. and many other nice girls stuff.
but it's really like too much.
so the next flea i take up.
it's just my stuff.
and it's all good stuff. pretty new somemore.
hopefully it's somewhere in august.

be in the loop.

cheers to the ker-ching.
and...
GO LOCAL!

2006-08-06T00:43:00.000+08:00

it's getting increasingly difficult to buy clothes.
alright. i know it sounds incredulous.
since i do buy quite a handful every so often.
but seriously...
i'm always going back to my same old reliable places
to get my garb.
and sometimes it gets really unnerving
when they don't sell anything you like.

so thank goodness for queen's.
i know i have been a choosy customer
and haven't been dishing out money
for your overpriced but
fantastically wearable and comfortable tshirts.

i did today!
although there really haven't been much interesting stuff of late.
but still v.excited to see ONE nice top.
hur hur hur...
it's something about the clothes you bring in.
they fit perfectly.

i'm mad about the attic and day-tripper too.
for their old skool penguin/arnoldpalmer polos.
if you look a lil harder,
you often end up with great stuff.
and i did of course.
i swear i live by
attic/daytripper/opptshop.
and i sure look like ahpek already.

so thank goodness for queen's!
or else everything i wear will look like
my pops' hand-me-downs.

enough gushing about about clothes.

BYE BYE TUAS!
after a whole 4 mths,
i'm so tired of working life and am
all-geared up for schooling!

and i got all the mods i bidded for!
hurray for me.
and thankew my kind teachers.

going MAAD again tomorrow.
more great buys, i hope.
since i haven't been there for 2 weeks.
watch the pocket, dude.
i swear there are HUGE holes in all my jeans/berms/shorts.
where's my money gone to?!

sunday sunday sunday and no early morning mondays.
phew.

2006-08-04T09:07:00.000+08:00

"place yer bids! toss a coin! spin the wheel!"

wanna see big thankew very much to...

CHARMAINE!
for being incredibly patient
and reading the modular crap pdf for me
and condensing that 10s of pages
into bite-size "must knows".

MARY!
my berry fairy.
for being around when i'm bidding.
willing to take time out of her
horrible, treacherous schedule
to hear me bemoan about being constantly outbidded
and strategise *ahem* to "watch market".

and to the many others i've bugged...
cindy, huey, and the rest-whom-i-don't-have-to-spell-out.
thankew to you too.

oh yes.
why can't they just do modular preferences
and allow all the freshies to get what they like
according to the ranking of the moduels they want.

just like how we choose our courses
and schools.

i'm pretty much upset over the fact
that ALL the courses I've bidded for have
students bidding > quota

i throw my hands up
and shout
GIVE UP ALREADY!
(or have i?)

and i detest people who play around with the system
to escalate bid points for a module they don't want
and then withdraw their points at the last minute
to bid for something they want.
i hope they get ZERO modules they like.
how's that!
hmpf.

2006-08-03T09:13:00.000+08:00

the day started brilliantly.

and now, it's like the dirty water
splashed on your calves
by cars running over puddles.

it's 6 past 9.

i'm not reconsidering my choices.

i'm shaking so badly 'coz you made me.
it's past fuming.
more like torn.

2006-08-02T16:16:00.000+08:00

i can barely contain my excitement!
i'm feeling so jumpy jumpy!

*jumpin' jumpin'*

*hops around and does the boogie woogie*

mr _______ is joining me in f a s s!
WHOA HOA!
and it doesn't matter if you only matriculate on friday!
yayyyyyyyyyyy!

i have a subway buddy!!!
yes! yes! YES!!!

2006-07-31T23:13:00.000+08:00

highly frustrated now.
reading up the cors system
and the diff kind of mods
i swear i want to pull out every single strand
of hair on my head.
and it doesn't help that...

ah. fark it.

so much to say.
but i don't want to say anymore.

what with bidding starting real soon.
i don't know the kind of mods i have to take.
the entire modular system
and how to bid and stuff.

*bangs head against the wall*

farking angry.
need to be left alone.

and no, we will not talk about the two of them.
not at all.

2006-07-28T09:11:00.000+08:00

I don't give a...

Keep looking at my...
Cause it don't mean a thing if you're looking at my...
I'm a do my thing while you're playing with your...
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

wooo!

i'm harbouring an open crush on
the puddycat-dolls!

*gulps*

i'm feeling all hip hop & r n b
if ya know wad i mean yeah.

hur hur hur...

and...
HELLO TO THE WEEKEND!

yeeee hah!

weeeet weeeeet.
it's saturday tomorrow!
yes! yes! yes!

2006-07-28T08:56:00.000+08:00

tired i was.
but i had to meet my lovelies.
not that i was forced really.
but how can anyone end their day
with boring tuition?!

yes.
i haven't been sleeping early
and i thought i could at least
go to bed early for once.

but heck it.
off to town with kous and hui.
(he's leaving town next week for pete's sake!)
=(

i'm going to miss him so much.

mandarin hotel we went.
and drinks we had.

my eyes popped when i saw the bellinis'
going for 17 bucks.
of course must order la.

but no no no.

the bellini came.
and it cost 28 friggin' bucks.

and i re-read the menu.
got bellini martini
and champagne bellini.

must make known one!
"cheap bellini pls!"
hahaha...

but super yummy.
oooh.
again again again!

sluuuuurp.

2006-07-27T17:24:00.000+08:00

i can't freaking stand the mundane work
here in the office!!!!

GET ME OUT OF HEREEEE!

*snore*

2006-07-27T14:59:00.000+08:00

i'm falling so fast.
i'm in over my head.

it's as if i'm jumping off the flat.
but the height's getting taller and taller.
and the impact's gonna be larger and larger.

it's gonna be so painful when i land.

but right now,
i just want to fly.

2006-07-27T09:03:00.000+08:00

i just spent the last 30 min on friendster
grabbing photos from people i know.
all cause i'm too lazy to upload any.

wait a min.
do people still friendster?

ah hah!
but of course!

what with this new function
that's pretty voyueristic.

you want to view people right
caaaaaan...
but people will know you have viewed em.

and if you don't want em to know you've viewed em,
esp if it's the girl/guy you've been eyeing
every morning on the bus on the way to school,
caaaaaan...
then you disable this function
and people won't know you've viewed them.
BUT!
you wouldn't know who had viewed you then.
damn.

so i weighed the opportunity costs
and came to the conclusion.

"hey, i don't use friendster often.
i don't go to other peeps' pages.
(save for today)
and i sure want to know who are the people
who makes the steady amount of viewing my page."

and so i disabled the function, 2 days ago.
but damnnit.
apparently everyone who views my account
is on anonymous mode!

frak.

2006-07-26T17:54:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry i have no originality.
but yes, chris, this song is great!
one of my favourites from
the L Word season 3 soundtrack.

tracy bonham's "whether you fall"

Whether it's the sunshine whether it's the rain
Doesn't make a difference 'til you complain
Whether it's the water coming in from the roof
Does it piss you off that you're not water proof?

Whether you fall means nothing at all
It's whether you get up it's whether you get up

And you hate the silence as it fills up the room
And there's not much to say to your blushing groom
Maybe all eyes are on you as you finish the race
And the world sees you struggling for last place

Whether you fall means nothing at all
It's whether you get up whether you get up

Whether you fall means nothing at all
It's whether you get up whether you get up

great one.

2006-07-25T14:37:00.000+08:00

i don't think it's fair to say
that a love for someone is based on how long
the two of you have been together.

and so is heartbreak.
the longer you've been together with the person
doesn't mean the more the heartbreak.

for sure, there's more to miss.
but also there's more to hate.

you just don't go rationalising the extent of such things.

i don't know what i did on sunday was right.
for sure, it seems like right in everyone's eyes.
much more in yours.
but, i don't think i can handle this.
no i can't.
i'm starting to fear what's in front of me.
the possibilities.
the problems.
the negativities.
they're all starting to surface in my head.
and there's nothing that can comfort me.
'coz noone can understand what's going on inside me.
and probably noone will.

when i'm in your presence.
and i hear your voice.
and whenever we converse,
all these fade away.
and it's bliss.

but when you're not around,
what happens?
i go back to my cynical self.
the thoughts i'm putting myself through.
the negativities within me.

i don't deserve this happiness.
no, i dont.

and you're right.
i am jaded.

2006-07-25T13:12:00.000+08:00

take your time to read this.
it's beautiful.

the thunder. perfect mind.

I was sent forth from the power,
and I have come to those who reflect upon me,
and I have been found among those who seek after me.
Look upon me, you who reflect upon me,
and you hearers, hear me.
You who are waiting for me, take me to yourselves.
And do not banish me from your sight.
And do not make your voice hate me, nor your hearing.
Do not be ignorant of me anywhere or any time. Be on your guard!
Do not be ignorant of me.
For I am the first and the last.
I am the honored one and the scorned one.
I am the whore and the holy one.
I am the wife and the virgin.
I am and the daughter.
I am the members of my mother.
I am the barren one
and many are her sons.
I am she whose wedding is great,
and I have not taken a husband.
I am the midwife and she who does not bear.
I am the solace of my labor pains.
I am the bride and the bridegroom,
and it is my husband who begot me.
I am the mother of my father
and the sister of my husband
and he is my offspring.
I am the slave of him who prepared me.
I am the ruler of my offspring.
But he is the one who begot me before the time on a birthday.
And he is my offspring in (due) time,
and my power is from him.
I am the staff of his power in his youth,
and he is the rod of my old age.
And whatever he wills happens to me.
I am the silence that is incomprehensible
and the idea whose remembrance is frequent.
I am the voice whose sound is manifold
and the word whose appearance is multiple.
I am the utterance of my name.

Why, you who hate me, do you love me,
and hate those who love me?
You who deny me, confess me,
and you who confess me, deny me.
You who tell the truth about me, lie about me,
and you who have lied about me, tell the truth about me.
You who know me, be ignorant of me,
and those who have not known me, let them know me.
For I am knowledge and ignorance.
I am shame and boldness.
I am shameless; I am ashamed.
I am strength and I am fear.
I am war and peace.
Give heed to me.
I am the one who is disgraced and the great one.
Give heed to my poverty and my wealth.
Do not be arrogant to me when I am cast out upon the earth,
and you will find me in those that are to come.
And do not look upon me on the dung-heap
nor go and leave me cast out,
and you will find me in the kingdoms.
And do not look upon me when I am cast out among those who
are disgraced and in the least places,
nor laugh at me.
And do not cast me out among those who are slain in violence.
But I, I am compassionate and I am cruel.
Be on your guard!
Do not hate my obedience
and do not love my self-control.
In my weakness, do not forsake me,
and do not be afraid of my power.
For why do you despise my fear
and curse my pride?
But I am she who exists in all fears
and strength in trembling.
I am she who is weak,
and I am well in a pleasant place.
I am senseless and I am wise.
Why have you hated me in your counsels?
For I shall be silent among those who are silent,
and I shall appear and speak,
Why then have you hated me, you Greeks?
Because I am a barbarian among the barbarians?
For I am the wisdom of the Greeks
and the knowledge of the barbarians.
I am the judgement of the Greeks and of the barbarians.
I am the one whose image is great in Egypt
and the one who has no image among the barbarians.
I am the one who has been hated everywhere
and who has been loved everywhere.
I am the one whom they call Life,
and you have called Death.
I am the one whom they call Law,
and you have called Lawlessness.
I am the one whom you have pursued,
and I am the one whom you have seized.
I am the one whom you have scattered,
and you have gathered me together.
I am the one before whom you have been ashamed,
and you have been shameless to me.
I am she who does not keep festival,
and I am she whose festivals are many.
I, I am godless,
and I am the one whose God is great.
I am the one whom you have reflected upon,
and you have scorned me.
I am unlearned,
and they learn from me.
I am the one that you have despised,
and you reflect upon me.
I am the one whom you have hidden from,
and you appear to me.
But whenever you hide yourselves,
I myself will appear.
For whenever you appear,
I myself will hide from you.
Those who have [...] to it [...] senselessly [...].
Take me [... understanding] from grief.
and take me to yourselves from understanding and grief.
And take me to yourselves from places that are ugly and in ruin,
and rob from those which are good even though in ugliness.
Out of shame, take me to yourselves shamelessly;
and out of shamelessness and shame,
upbraid my members in yourselves.
And come forward to me, you who know me
and you who know my members,
and establish the great ones among the small first creatures.
Come forward to childhood,
and do not despise it because it is small and it is little.
And do not turn away greatnesses in some parts from the smallnesses,
for the smallnesses are known from the greatnesses.
Why do you curse me and honor me?
You have wounded and you have had mercy.
Do not separate me from the first ones whom you have known.
And do not cast anyone out nor turn anyone away
[...] turn you away and [... know] him not.
[...].
What is mine [...].
I know the first ones and those after them know me.
But I am the mind of [...] and the rest of [...].
I am the knowledge of my inquiry,
and the finding of those who seek after me,
and the command of those who ask of me,
and the power of the powers in my knowledge
of the angels, who have been sent at my word,
and of gods in their seasons by my counsel,
and of spirits of every man who exists with me,
and of women who dwell within me.
I am the one who is honored, and who is praised,
and who is despised scornfully.
I am peace,
and war has come because of me.
And I am an alien and a citizen.
I am the substance and the one who has no substance.
Those who are without association with me are ignorant of me,
and those who are in my substance are the ones who know me.
Those who are close to me have been ignorant of me,
and those who are far away from me are the ones who have known me.
On the day when I am close to you, you are far away from me,
and on the day when I am far away from you, I am close to you.
[I am ...] within.
[I am ...] of the natures.
I am [...] of the creation of the spirits.
[...] request of the souls.
I am control and the uncontrollable.
I am the union and the dissolution.
I am the abiding and I am the dissolution.
I am the one below,
and they come up to me.
I am the judgment and the acquittal.
I, I am sinless,
and the root of sin derives from me.
I am lust in (outward) appearance,
and interior self-control exists within me.
I am the hearing which is attainable to everyone
and the speech which cannot be grasped.
I am a mute who does not speak,
and great is my multitude of words.
Hear me in gentleness, and learn of me in roughness.
I am she who cries out,
and I am cast forth upon the face of the earth.
I prepare the bread and my mind within.
I am the knowledge of my name.
I am the one who cries out,
and I listen.
I appear and [...] walk in [...] seal of my [...].
I am [...] the defense [...].
I am the one who is called Truth
and iniquity [...].
You honor me [...] and you whisper against me.
You who are vanquished, judge them (who vanquish you)
before they give judgment against you,
because the judge and partiality exist in you.
If you are condemned by this one, who will acquit you?
Or, if you are acquitted by him, who will be able to detain you?
For what is inside of you is what is outside of you,
and the one who fashions you on the outside
is the one who shaped the inside of you.
And what you see outside of you, you see inside of you;
it is visible and it is your garment.
Hear me, you hearers
and learn of my words, you who know me.
I am the hearing that is attainable to everything;
I am the speech that cannot be grasped.
I am the name of the sound
and the sound of the name.
I am the sign of the letter
and the designation of the division.
And I [...].
(3 lines missing)
[...] light [...].
[...] hearers [...] to you
[...] the great power.
And [...] will not move the name.
[...] to the one who created me.
And I will speak his name.
Look then at his words
and all the writings which have been completed.
Give heed then, you hearers
and you also, the angels and those who have been sent,
and you spirits who have arisen from the dead.
For I am the one who alone exists,
and I have no one who will judge me.
For many are the pleasant forms which exist in numerous sins,
and incontinencies,
and disgraceful passions,
and fleeting pleasures,
which (men) embrace until they become sober
and go up to their resting place.
And they will find me there,
and they will live,
and they will not die again.

or if you cannot stand text.
go to this
thunder.perfect mind

2006-07-25T09:58:00.000+08:00

i love you.
you love me.
i love money,
you give me.
if you don't give me.
i will slap you with a trout.
won't you say you'll
"show me the mun-ney!"

sing-along barney style.
end with gangsta rap.
yo yo arroyo.
whoops.

anyway,
ms japan is hawt hawt hawt.
and everyone gave better answers
compared to ms puerto rico.
yes, even ms switzerland,
whose greatest fear
is to lose her family.
i thought that was short and succinct.
not bad.
ms usa and japan answers so good lor.
what were the judges thinking.
too enthralled by chain mail?!

and mentioning the judges.
who are they?!
i only recognise s.rice from project runway 2.
and even so. who is he?!

it's funny how ms universe is supposed to be like
a care-giver.
coming from a charitable organisation.

but the focus?
bodies. evening gowns. twirls.
and people want to be actress lei.
then why join ms universe.
wah lao.
like that also can win.

but i like carson from from the fab 5.
he's one funny bunny.
great they got him.

oh. and the prizes?!
who is ta-da-shi?
and shoes?!
i only agree with the trump apartment
and the scholarship.

but wait a minute.

are you sure the competition is for
ms universe?
not for universe next top model/actress/sashayer?
shame shame.

2006-07-24T16:12:00.000+08:00

bang! bang! bang!

britney says "don't go knocking on my door."

i say,
"please, don't go knocking on my head!"
no more no more.

pain.
pain.
pain.

i think it's the late nights that's doing me in.
i mean my 2230 days,
since the army,
has made me an early sleeper.
the past week,
i'm sleeping like at 2am?
and if i get to sleep early,
12's the earliest.
groan.
it's no help that i'm looking like
a panda.
*growls*

but i don't mind staying up.
all worth it.

2006-07-23T20:42:00.000+08:00

i hate myself for having sensitive skin.
it's like i can't even do something simple without breaking out in rashes.
(wait. this is starting to sound like a dermatological commercial.)

i went for a late night run yesterday.
okay. i see the jaws on the floor already.
it's not that impossible for isaac lar.
gimme some credit.
it's all in an effort to keep fit.

wait. the important thing is.
during my cool down,
i started breaking out in rashes.
that's also why i hate exercising.
i can't do anything, that induces sweat,
without breaking out in rashes, at all.

beach - rash.
outfield - rash.
cleaning my weapon - rash.
even after coming back from hv on fri night - rash.

unbelievable right?
i can't either.
i reckon i can't touch anything "unclean"
and that involves sweating.
blah.

in anycase. that's yesterday.

and today, i'm in bliss.
and don't ask why.

2006-07-23T15:40:00.000+08:00

thou shalt never wear thy cigarette cuts
to the botanic gardens.

i realise my mistake now.
cigarette cut jeans that look good
do not go well for an outing to the botanic gardens.
neither should one wear an unbreatheable ck top
even though it feels great.

no. don't get me wrong.
i had a great time at the botanic gardens.
it definitely doesn't feel very singapore-y.
what with the beautiful tranquil surroundings.
i swear it wasn't singapore.
i could breathe normally for once.
like in a very relaxed fashion.
phew.

but it is hard to walk for long in whatever i wore to church in the morning.
oh. and the food at the botanic gardens
were great yum.

even better, was the ice-cream at island creamey.
hur hur hur...
both my folks are officially converts.
first, it was the horlicks.
then came the pulut hitam
and the apple pie flavours.
they're currently in heaven with the
tiger beer sorbet and ice kachang icecream.
it really is that good.

now, they're like...
"isaac... when you're in the area, call us.
we'll tell you what flavours to get."
hurrah!

i heart you.

2006-07-20T11:47:00.000+08:00

because you make me smile.

2006-07-19T14:00:00.000+08:00

Each day is taking us closer
While drawing the curtains to close
This far, or further, I need to know
Your increasingly long embraces
Are they saying sorry or please?
I don't know what's happening, help me

Through the streets, on the corners,
there's a scent in the air
I ask you out and I lead you,
I know my way around here
There's a bench I remember,
and on the way there I find,
That the movements you're making,
are mirrored in mine
And your hand is held open, intentionally
Or just what I want to see?

tell me?

2006-07-19T13:32:00.000+08:00

what does
the lion king,
a bush,
and a girl
have in common?

i'm gonna -snip- my hair off.
short and cropped.
on a friday afternoon. NEXT pls.

too many people
having too much to say about my hair.
growl.

fret
cause it's the lovin' jitters
at work again.

commitment issues.
fear.
negativity.

getting over someone you once loved was so trying.
you sure you want to take the plunge again?

=(